TMI Thursday: OMG…Im 28…Eff.

Im a day late for TMI Thursday, but what ever...this is my week...

Friday 7/3: Went with the boyfriend, Robbie, to Tenino to drop off the Boss-Man’s racecar to have something fixed on it. I’ll tell you something about mechanical speak…I don’t get it. For kristsake, I’ve worked in the trucking industry for over 5 years now and the boyfriend is a truck driver and I still don’t get it. So Im sure I’ve been told a thousand times what is wrong with this racecar but all I hear is "its broken and needs to become un-broken" and that’s how I relay it. So we spent the whole day driving…actually me riding. No complaints, it was fun hanging out with Robbie…because I wuvies him, right?

Oh yeah, we went to the demolition derby when we got back to town. Ran into an old friend, KM at the derby. Robbie got into the pig races and won...weird.

Saturday 7/4: For some ungodly reason hell expanded its borders and came a little closer to the surface because it was one-hundred-and-freaking-ten degrees outside. Couldn’t leave the dog outside all day long so I opted out of going to Yakima for the races with Robbie so dog could be inside the A/C’d house. It was nice spending the day alone because I got our messy house cleaned. (Robbies’s oldest son "RC" lives with us and was at work that day also). But as the day went on and it became closer to fireworks time I got a little sad that I was alone on the 4^th of July. I don’t think I wanted to spend my Independence Day so…independent. But I watched the fireworks on TV…by myself.

Sunday 7/5: Woohoo…RC and Robbie were both home. I was so happy I got up early, went to the store for some yummy breakfast makings. Made said breakfast and our 3 tummies were joyous. I cleaned up the kitchen and did the dishes all while thinking "oh boy, what will we do today?!?" when I got done there was RC on the couch, asleep. Ok, he’s staying home, where’s Robbie, we’ll go out just the 2 of us. NOPE! He was sleeping in our bed. Well, poop. So I laid next to Robbie and tried some *hint hint wink wink nudge nudge* moves and got nothing in response. Obviously VERY tired from his long day at Yakima yesterday. So I went outside and weeded my garden and fertilized. Came back in, took a shower and then tried my *hint hint wink wink nudge nudge* moves again…again, nothing. By 3pm I was flaming pissed. In my not-so-calm-but-very-frustrated way I burst into our bedroom and say "Are you really going to sleep the whole day away". I mean, I spent yesterday by myself…I’d like some us time. So he gets up and I start making dinner, enchiladas and veggies w/ homemade ranch… we eat.

Now this is where the TMI Thursday is kicking in. After dinner I thought I’d take the dog for a walk in the orchard across the street and I make A go with us.

(Side note: my sister and my mother are allergic to eggs and get the screaming mimis from them. I’m in denial that eggs have such an effect on me.)

Here is Robbie and I walking hand in hand in the orchard and suddenly "grumble grumble" goes the intestines. "hmmm, we better start heading home". He just smiles at me as we turn around back to the truck. I start to walk faster as the grumbling, pressure, and discomfort become greater. Holy good god, there are eggs in the ranch dressing and we had eggs for breakfast and OMG! We had enchilada’s for dinner!! Robbie is laughing at me and I tell him "don’t laugh, if you weren’t here I’d just pop a squat right here in this orchard". He gets thoroughly disgusted. He ends up staying in the orchard to work on the semi-truck that is there and tells me to take our pick-up and the dog home to "do my thang".

Sitting, bumpy orchard road and intestinal pressure DO NOT MIX! Yup, no matter how hard I squeezed the cheeks, it came. In case you, the reader, didn’t understand me, I pooped myself, in front of my dog.

A little bit shamed and humored at the same time. I pull into the driveway and there is RC in the driveway. The mind is racing…oh dear god, how do I get out of the truck without the boyfriend’s kid seeing sh*t down my shorts???? I roll down the window and casually ask "wacha doin?" all the while hoping he doesn’t get too close and become fumigate. He says that he was going to go work out but looks at me in total confusion and asks where his dad is. I explain that I left him in the orchard to work on the semi and he says oh. And there it is…we just kinda freeze there for a moment of awkwardness. I’ll be damned if Im going to get out of the truck and he’s just looking at me like "why isnt she getting out of the truck?" Suddenly he turns and walks into the garage! YES! This is my chance I get out of the truck and with my back toward the truck I skoot to the house QUICKLY before RC turns around and sees that Im walking like a freaking duck.

Whew, inside and got all cleaned up. I couldn’t wait to call my mom and laugh it out with her.

Monday 7/6: hmmm…cant remember. Work is really REALLY busy this week. So many loads to dispatch that I have A hauling for me as well. Its nice to be this busy but it’s stressful.

Tuesday 7/7: The last day of 27…wow. I hate birthdays by the way. I reflect on my life too much and depression sets in. But I keep telling myself not to get down about it yet because my birthday isnt really until tomorrow. I tell myself ‘hope for the best but expect the worse’. After watching the MJ memorial I was really reflecting on my life…ugh.

After work I ran into town to empty our recycle bins. A had to work late so I loaded our truck, tied it down and took the dog with me. I was feeling pretty good. Me, my red truck, and my dog. I was loving it. Since I was feeling good I decided to stop by Walmart after recycling and purchase a weeding hoe. Luckily hell had shrunk a little so it wasn’t as warm and I was able to leave the dog in the truck for a moment. As Im trying to "grab my sh*t and get out" a nice cold "birthday beer" sounds good to me so I pick up a case of the tasty beverage. When I get to the register it dawns on me that my current license is in my neon, in the trunk, in my tackle box…crap. This really cute old man scans the beer and asks for my ID. Double crap. I fumble "uh, well, here’s the deal…I have my expired license but my current license is in my tackle box". He takes the expired license, looks at it, then peers over his close up glasses at me. "Listen," he begins, "I just got this job, and I really don’t want to loose it, but you look like you are over 21. But, I just cant because this could be a test." I assure him its not a test but no birthday beer for me. Oh well. On my way home I pass the company store and get myself some birthday beer WooHoo! Too bad it’s a little more expensive there but I got my beer =)

Wednesday 7/8: The birthday. I’ll tell ya, it started off really good. All my facebook friends were giving me happy birthday comments and A gave me a few birthday cards and A’s mom and step-dad got me flowers. Boss-Man got me a new computer screen for work and cupcakes. So far so good. A’s brother-inlaw calls and we make plans to go out to dinner with the Eldob’s and the Hcibah’s (neighbors who are related to A also). A gets home from work and asks me what I want for my bday…I quickly realize that he has once again not gotten me a present. I don’t know what it is about him but Valentines day, birthdays, anniversaries, etc…he just drops the ball. Now I just get pissed about it. I go out of my way every holiday (including father’s day) to make sure he has a gift, a card, and is told that he is loved. I feel that I try really hard at making him feel special on those day. By the end of the day I was feeling bummed but told myself not to let it get to me. After going out to dinner with his family we said we’d go home, get nekkid and fool around. So, we get home, get nekkid, lay in bed and…he starts snoring. No good night kiss, no "happy birthday baby"…and I cried myself to sleep.

Thursday 7/9:First offical day of 28, so far, no good. This morning I woke up with the familiar feeling of "Well F*ck, we are gonna have Aunt Flow for a visit this afternoon…effing grand". It doesn’t help that I havnt taken my be-good pills for a few days now with the combo of a lame bday, bad sleep and now cramps as soon as A woke up I started crying. A held me and apologized for neglecting me. Gie at work had borrowed my weight scale and returned it. KC had to step on it and she weighed 166lbs and went on and on about how "fat" she had become. I decided to be brave and stepped on it also…226!!! WTF?!?! How did this happen?? Yes, I was wearing clothes but still…good god! So A and I decided to do the "cleanse" and drink olive oil with juice for dinner. Its supposed to make you poop…for me, NOTHING. Well, nothing but heartburn all evening long anyway. I went to bed, again, disappointed. Suddenly at 9:45pm there is a voice in my living room…some woman cackling and laughing and yelling at A to come out and see her. Apparently his Aunt showed up from AZ and was staying with A’s sister, K, at the Hcibah’s house. I guess I was right when I woke up…some annoying Aunt would show up today. After she left around 1130 we went back to bed. Suddenly A jumped up and his olive-oil was working for him, so he dashed to the main bathroom. As I laid there pissed that I drank that sh*t and nothing was happening for me …URP! I dash to the bathroom and mine came up the other direction. Luckily I made it to the master bathroom toilet. Beautiful, I’m barfing in one bathroom and A is crapping in the other. Needless to say, once again making sexy-time did not happen. Ugh, if I don’t get some soon I’m going scream!